Nostalgic

I’ve never been good at opening statements, or first paragraphs. That’s why I always hate starting papers for school. They are supposed to be a bit of an overview of what you are going to be talking about, but since I am indecisive, and seem to think I am this great writer who can just go with the ideas and have it come out like some really well written thesis. It isn’t. Ever.

I guess I will be talking about how fast time is moving, and if that doesn’t turn you away from reading the rest of this, then congratulations you have patience most people can’t. If you don’t ‘tldr’ this, then maybe you just have too much time to waste, or maybe you actually want to see where this little rant goes. Since school does seem to be the majority of my day I will start with that. I don’t remember middle school very well, mostly because there is a lot I would rather not remember.

What I do remember is strange though. I can’t remember my locker combinations, like Collin can. Well, maybe my gym locker from 8^th grade, I think it was 44-4-24, but I’m not sure. I do remember asking someone in 6^th grade if a binder was red, because I couldn’t tell, and that my reading teacher would use a pink high heel for her cell phone as the hall pass in the beginning of the year so Melissa and I could take the attendance down. I remember that Mr. Keener was my favorite teacher and that I felt really guilty when I was late to his class. I remember disliking my math teacher because of many different things throughout the year.

I don’t remember what I learned, but I do remember the information. I can’t tell you my favorite book back then, or my favorite TV show, or even my favorite song. It is the small things I see when I think of that time in my life. I wish I remember how I met some people, like the ones I am friends with now. My first memory, and theirs are probably very different, and I wish I could tell who was right. Haven, how did we become friends? Because the first thing I remember was in chorus class in 6th grade I was messing with your hair and wishing you didn’t find the nearest hypothetical corner to hide in, even though I know I did that too. What was your first memory? I don’t know if we were friends at Henson, because I really can’t remember anything from then.

At Davis, in Mrs. Vandevender’s class I remember when we had to make an AD for something, and the teacher was pairing us up. I got Ashley, and you laughed. I told you to watch out or you’ll get Jade, and sure enough “Haven and Jade” which prompted a rolf moment for me. Was he mixing laxatives or something? Angela, I remember you in gym with Marie and the other Ashley, and I remember you in Mrs. Wessley’s class you had a New Moon tattoo (thankfully that changed) and after that… Nothing. How did we become friends? Collin still isn’t really a friend, but he doesn’t like me so it isn’t my fault (I hope) and Marie was sort of a time thing.

I was reading over the SCABS blog, and I was smiling and almost crying at the same time. Just reading over the older posts reminded me of so many little things, like Haven’s Marly and Nevaxh bookmark. The one where Jeremy ripped off the head, and Haven still used it. It seemed so normal then, almost like a cycle. Haven would complain about girl scouts, and cuss out the world. Then she would call Uche a whore, Uche would whine, and Haven would bug her for the French homework. Which reminds me, I need to do my math homework. That doesn’t happen anymore, because no one writes on their blog anymore. DeviantArt sort of took over blogspot for me, and I haven’t been on it for a while. I did a bit of blogging from my phone, but since I didn’t actually look at it, I didn’t realize that it would come out in alien speak. ??.)$&&*@}}|><><..,//?’/! (In word, that came up as an internet link, but really it was phone blog speak for ‘get back in the kitchen’)

What happens when time moves away from us all together? Will we all still have eachother? Or will there be a new dysfunctional family in each of our lives, and we forget about the one we all left? I’m pretty sure we won’t have Collin when we grow up, but who knows? He stuck around this long, so maybe he’s here to stay. Angela will probably show up at my door in the future when I need someone to talk to, and I will have to remember who she was, and Haven will be living in my basement. Not to mention she will have to call me to tell me that I’m pregnant. I know all this is just the talk of someone who either believes the past and the future can be the same, or someone who jokes too much to accept the truth.

I hope I didn’t annoy anyone with my nostalgic moment, and I will probably delete this when I am older and I see how stupid I was as a teenager. I guess I just wanted to ask a few memories out of anyone who reads this, whether or not they were mentioned. Hell if you stumble on this and it reminds you of something you just want to say, say it. I will listen.